It has been 3 weeks since I started taking testosterone.
I have eaten more and gained weight since.
Also I gave myself a sideshave and dyed my hair bright blue. felt more comfortable with my haircut. I don't really mind my hairline, it is fine. just don't go further back than it is already.
As for gender expression, I have found myself leaning more towards masculine than feminine. People still perceive me as feminine because of my body and feminine features, I don't really mind anymore.
However I dress, people will perceive it as masculine or feminine largely based on my body. Because I do not dress extremely masculine nor feminine.
I have a very feminine body, despite binding on a daily basis. That I think is the reason why I lean towards msaculine expressions to compensate.
There is no typical way of dressing non-binary, I think. Even if you have a beard and wear heels, people see you as drag.
I don't think I can ever develop a beard. Not that I want one.
I do feel more at home with my body despite gaining weight, and I do feel like I want to work out and build a more muscular body. I want to feel proud of my appearance, and be able to see I worked hard to look good.
I used to think I would feel dysphoric about gaining weight, surprisingly I ...kinda don't? It that because I feel like I am gaining muscle instead of fat? I am getting bigger for sure, but I don't really know if it is muscle of fat. I am still quite squishy! The only thing is, my face has gotten rounder and fatter...
